The tao of dating for men
No, true masculinity, the kind of masculinity that makes a woman’s pants damp (sorry to be crude, but the truth is the truth) is summed up in words like: assertive, courageous, loyal, clear, focused, having a strong moral code, knowing who you are, being protective, gentle, able to commit, having good boundaries, respectful of other people, self-sufficient….
And even if you do, there’s always room for improvement – always room to nudge you further towards the 100 mark on that scale of masculinity.
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The Tao system was intended to provide dating tips for men all around the world.
I promised to post an article on how to get out of a slump. The structure goes something like this: You experience a setback. This affects your beliefs and attitudes, which actually affects your performance, making more likely -- you guessed it -- another setback.
Now you weren't doing anything differently from before, but now you think you're seeing a trend.
Keep the lessons you learned from the slump and remain detached from your outcome while centering yourself in your power.
Have the humility to go back to the old lessons that got you where you are and continue to engage in 'te', or right action.
Problem was, I was experiencing a bit of an idea slump myself. That's going to be one of the themes of this article, as you'll see. And before you know it, you're deep in some hole that you didn't know existed. Everything we do in life is subject to the laws of probability.Maybe if I go to this party, I'll meet my dream companion! Whether it's learning languages, painting or playing the guitar, you're demonstrating competence to yourself. As Kahlil Gibran said in 'The Prophet': "Verily when good is hungry it seeks food even in dark caves, and when it thirsts, it drinks even of dead waters." So never compromise your values.Maybe if I keep banging my head against this wall, it will come down! This boosts your self-esteem, re-centers you, gets the happy juices running, makes you feel awesome, and gets you back in the saddle again. A mistake most people make in a dating slump is that they drop their standards, allowing for more and more questionable fish to be allowed into their metaphorical net. There is no better way to signal your desperation to the universe by saying, "Well, anything will do." Hell no it won't! Slumming it even once not only sends the wrong message, but can also land you in a big mess that you didn't see coming. Chapter 26 of the Tao Te Ching says: "A good traveler has no fixed plans And is not intent upon arriving.But if you toss a coin 100 times, that probability goes up to over 90%. The Master sees things as they are, Without trying to control them.
Toss it 1000 times, and it's nearly certain to happen. She lets them go their own way, And resides at the center of the circle." Slumps happen all the time to everybody, regardless of skill, beauty or intelligence.I'd like to leave you with Chapter 23 of the Tao Te Ching, which summarizes nicely the article: "Express yourself completely, Then keep quiet.Be like the forces of nature: When it blows, there is only wind; When it rains, there is only rain; When the clouds pass, the sun shines through.In other words, all of us have a slump a-comin' at some point, baby. Which brings us to the first step of the Tao of getting out of a slump: 1) Realize that slumps are normal. This means you are not necessarily a chump, klutz, goober, doofus, clod, oaf, dork, dolt, or nincompoop. The essence of Taoist thought is accepting the world as it is. And if you retreat for a little while -- a few weeks, a month or two -- then you're probably not going to get that outcome either.